Friday, September 20, 2013

The blog post that lost friends

I was going through my old blog posts and noticed a big shift starting last summer.  Not only did I dramatically change topics, from granola and chickens to the social construction of "race," but I picked up quite a few more readers along the way.  Not that granola and chickens aren't interesting.

I think the major change was my level of passion.  And by passion, I may mean that I got angry.  Really angry.  See, there was this blog post.  This "look-mom-I-went-to-the-library" blog post.  I was excited.  I was motivated.

And White people attacked me.  People I knew.  People I cared about.  They said that racism wasn't real.  They said, if racism did exist it was because people like me went to grad school and got brainwashed.  If I could just stop reading about it, it would all go away.  I actually lost friends over this first post.

But then there were other friends who were intrigued.  Specifically, one friend, a Black woman, asked me to write about what I was reading.  She wanted to know more.  So I kept writing, clunky at first, figuring things out as I went along.  It was dry.  But I was learning.

I have stopped being so shocked and hurt about that initial reaction.  I am better at seeing through the rhetoric.  I don't get confused when people go all "colorblind" on me.  I try to remember the positive dialogues that have happened, the encouragement along the way.  I'm still angry, but I have more compassion. 

So I've come a long way.  I have a long way to go. And we have new chickens.

My question for my readers: What would you like to see more of?  Do you have questions about my journey, urban education, anti-racism, or anything else? Let me know!

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